I sure have thought of a lot of things that I should have been doing during the year that I wasn’t really working. Now, I have little to no life, which is a little unfortunate. My free time, what very little of it I have, I spend with a few people and maybe venture out for a show every once in a while. Leaving work at 8pm doesn’t make it easy to get to shows on time to snap some photos and stuff that I used to do. There really is a lot that I miss. I mean, fuck, it’s 1am and I am struggling to keep my eyes open just so I can write a little bit.
I’ve taken to getting up a little more early in the morning to give me some extra time to get a few things done in the morning that I just couldn’t find time to do during the day or evening. If I go out after work, I literally come home, feed Holly, feed myself, take Holly on a walk and then I am out the door. I feel bad for Holly. She doesn’t get to see much of me anymore, but the good news is, she has someone wonderful taking care of her during the day.
I took her to the vet this weekend and the vet wasn’t very hopeful on her condition. She continues to lose weight and the atrophy has become quite dramatic, especially in her face. Watching someone you love wasting away isn’t very easy, and anyone that knows a thing about me, knows that Holly is the center of my universe. I hate to think about it, but it;s inevitable that her death is looming, but I’ll make sure she goes before the pain sets in. I asked the vet when a good time to do it would be and she just said I would know. She’s probably right. I can’t bring myself to take photos of her anymore. It;s just not how I want to remember her.
So yeah, this new job is tough, but I’m enjoying the work, even if a lot of it is some of the most mindless work I have done since alphabetizing albums in a record store when I was 16. Actually though, the majority of the work, while being somewhat mindless, is at least teaching me things I didn’t know. There’s something about it that makes me feel proud and excited. Right now though, I’m tired. There’s so much more to talk about and say, but my eyes just will not allow. I cant wait until I can just think about something and it gets put here. That’ll be the day…
I have a friend that’s going through a rough time. She is in my thoughts. Let that be known.