So Frustrated

I am so over this weblogging thing. \Hell, it’s not like I even put much effort into any of it. Not that many people read it anyway and there’s not much that sets this apart from the rest. It’s all regurgitated information anyway. And for what? So I get comments and people like me? Whatever. For the last few hours I have been working on another site and I hate it. I hate almost everything about it. And why the fuck do I need a separate weblog for more personal matters? I’ll just post it here. There are a few things that I would like to be able to do and I can’t because I don’t know how and I don’t want to take the time to figure it out. So, this is how it’s going to look and I don’t care. It’s stupid, self-indulgent bullshit anyway. I just got finished writing this long post about how I hate the fact that I am bored so easily and change my mind about stuff at the drop of a hat. Take my web site as an example. I used to have my site hosted somewhere else and used Movable Type to publish my weblog. I switched over to TypePad so that I could focus my time, which lately I probably have too much of, on posting instead of coding. And now I want to code a little bit. Coding… that’s a laugh. I couldn’t code my way out of a box. All of the "coding" I have done is nothing more than hackery. And on some level, that’s fine with me. It’s nothing that I’ve ever poured my heart and soul into. I just wish I could look at code and simply see what needs to be changed to control something I am seeing (or not seeing). I can’t. Unless there are instructions or some nice coder person takes the time to walk me through it, it’s not gonna happen. At this point I’m just throwing my hands up in the air in complete frustration. Oh, and something I ate earlier today cut my tongue. It hurts and is so annoying. And the fact that I’m sore? That’s real fucking annoying too. Deep breaths. Good thing I’m leaving the apartment to go chant in a few minutes.