Spare Us All

I just came back from seeing Michael Miller and company put on a really nice (albeit short) set at The Derby. It was part of the DIY Music Festival, for which Michael took Best Song honors. I got there a little too early and had to endure a terrible band. The good part about it was that I was with a couple of friends who were equally annoyed at the tasteless display. I mean, look, there are a lot of really bad bands out there, and I’m not trying to pick on this one band at all, but they brought something to the front of my mind that I wanted to put down on paper.

It’s no secret that I fancy myself a music snob. I’m prone to whining about music that sucks, maybe even a little more than I rave about music that doesn’t. In any event, the band that I saw this evening made me think about what actually goes on when they practice. Do they *really* think they are good? Just because their girlfriends and some people that went to high school with them show up for their gigs, they think they’ve got something compelling going on? Please. I’ll cheer anyone on for getting up and doing their thang. It’s not like I’m up there with my guitar singing to people. I know I suck! I have nothing to share in that area. Where do these people get off thinking they are good at what they do? I’m baffled.

There was a part of one of their songs where the lead singer did this annoying thing with his voice to make it sound like it was a record being scratched by a DJ. I just had to wonder how he brought that one to practice.

‘I know we don’t have a DJ in the band (yet), but what do you think about this… [insert human voice trying to mimic a DJ scratching a record]’


‘Ya think?’

‘Dude, we don’t need a DJ. Just do that. No one is doing that.’

Yeah, and you know why? BECAUSE IT’S STUPID AND IT SUCKS! Again, I don’t mean to single out this defenseless band, but they represent everything I don’t like about music. Everything from the stuffed-up nose vocals to the “keyboardist” standing in the front acting like he knew what he was doing, who also harmonized on every single chorus of every single song, to the fact that they all had almost the same facial hair. Oh, and don’t get me started on lead singers that don’t play an instrument. Sure, there are exceptions, but the guy was no Bono.