Another close call

While I typing the last post, I kept thinking about the conversation that Brother and I had with dad. No one else was home. Dad had woken up from a nap and called us over to his bedside. His teeth had brown on them and his lips were very chapped. He asked us to help him die and then apologized for asking us. I kept seeing dad’s mouth, smelling his breath and hearing him say those words. I leaned my head back and started gasping for air like I was going to cry. I wanted to so badly. My eyes welled up a little and then whatever sadness I had went back down and I lost the opportunity. What is going on?! Why can’t I just cry?!!