Brad Barrish

I woke up in a panic. I thought there was a massive earthquake, but i was just my body. The thunderous awakening of a terrible nightmare. Drenched in sweat I lifted the top half of my body. My arm gave out under the pressure. It was black. Black was all I saw and I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I don’t remember this place. My head was pounding to the beat of my heart. I could feel the blood flowing through the left side of my head. Pressure so intense that it sent me into convulsion. Violent twitching that scared me. My head could explode at any moment. A flash of light created by my mind brought me back to consciousness. I was supposed to be at a party. That’s all I could think. I couldn’t say anything. I tried to speak, but there were just the thoughts. Silence. My mouth wouldn’t move.

I propped myself back up and looked around the room. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and I realized I was in my clothes. I couldn’t read the clock yet, but there were four digits. How long had I been out? Just as my eyes started to focus on objects in the room, my body fell back against the pillow and I bit my tongue. It didn’t hurt. I couldn’t feel anything. My body was moving so violently, uncontrollably. All the while I could think only about dying. I could hear a dog barking. The noise echoed. With each bark, a fist to my head.

The barking stopped. There was silence. Tears were streaming down my face, or was it sweat from my forehead? My clothes were soaked and the taste of metal was in my mouth. Iron. Blood. I brought my hand to my mouth and spit on it. It was black. The inside of my mouth swirled with blood and saliva, about to overflow. I felt like I was about to choke. ‘What a terrible way to go,’ I thought. ‘What would they think when they found me? How long would it take?’ More barking and then everything went black again. Every muscle in my body contracted. My toes curled and my fingers tucked themselves into the palm of my hand. I could feel my finger nails digging into my skin. I had no control, but was conscious of everything.

All of the sudden my body relaxed. My eyes shot open and my strength returned immediately. I had no idea how long it had all lasted, only that it was over now. The dog was sleeping soundly to my right, pressed against my body. I looked over at the clock and it was 1:11am. I had missed the party.

It’s amazing what getting out of my apartment did for my spirit. As you know, if you’ve been following my life, I’ve been unemployed for quite a while. For the better (or worse) part of the last eight months I have had little in the way of steady employment. The ocassional freelance gig has been helpful, but oh how I yearn for the nine-to-five desk job again. There’s something to be said for security. There’s something to be said for not writing a check to my previous employer for some of the worst HMO health[we-really-don’t]care. I’m not there just yet, but it just feels like something’s going to give. There’s something in the air.

It’s been challenging to stay optimistic. I’ve been rejected more in the last several months than a two-headed retard in a Beverly Hills club. It’s not always easy to keep saying, ‘you’ll have a job, you’ll make a good living like you used to and you’ll be happy.’ The thing is, I have never been happier. I’ve also never been more poor. I’m not starving and I can pay rent, but I just don’t spend like I used to. It’s actually fine. It’s been very humbling. I actually think about what I’m going to spend my money on. I budget to some degree and I even use Quicken to keep track of things. These are all kind of new to me. I’ve never been very responsible with money. Who has time? Who cares? It’s not like you can take it with you when you die. Might as well spend it and have a great fucking time, right? I mean aside from a music shopping spree, I don’t spend much money on stuff.

That word has come up a lot recently. I have a lot of stuff. Most of it is bullshit, useless crap that I could donate or just plain do without. The books and magazines, for instance. I keep magazines for what? I read them, but then what? They take up space on a shelf, make me look like I know what’s going on in the world, even if it is just the world of music, fashion and pop culture. We all do it to some extent. I have every issue of Rolling Stone from August 1987 to the present. Crazy, eh? Aside from the yearbooks and photo issues, I have rarely gone back to look at any of them. Half of them are at my parents’ house. Then there’s the box that I can’t lift that is sitting in the corner of one of my closets. Of course there are issues all around the apartment in various piles as well. Sure, Wired looks cool on a shelf, but why the fuck do I need four years worth of them? I could go on about the magazines, but I think I’ll just spare myself the utter embarrassment of knowing that you are reading about all of my stuff.

Let’s be honest for a moment. Why do people keep books and put them on a shelf for people to see? To look smart, cultured and well-read. There really is no other reason to keep a book. There are a few exceptions like reference books, coffee table books (which are really just for show as well) and photography books, all of which I look at pretty often. There are a few that will make it through the next move. David Sedaris books will remain. I never get sick of reading his books. Perhaps a book or two from Douglas Coupland, Nick Hornby, Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, Tom Robbins and the Neale Donald Walsch books. What now fills up nearly two 6’ x 3’ Ikea “Billy” bookshelves will fit nicely on a couple of shelves.

I’m getting off track, talking about my stuff. My original point was to tell you how a change of scenery has helped recharge me. It has inspired me, made me set an alarm to get out of bed and made me feel like I was actually doing something. Oh, and I was making a little cash too! I guess it didn’t hurt that the job I just finished was for a guy who lived with an amazing view of the ocean in Malibu. I’m already working on my next job and have had to pass on an opportunity. Why is it that everyone has to have stuff right now? No matter. I handed the job to a woman who just moved to town and needs the work. There’s certainly something to be said for some good employment karma.

There’s going to come a day when someone hires me as a full-time employee. That time is going to come soon and then I’ll probably be writing about how much fun I had freelancing, but hopefully not. Like I said before, I’m happy and healthy, which I am thankful for. What it really comes down to for me is that I remain happy and learn a little something along the way. When I quit my job last year, I made a vow to myself that I would never take a job so personally that it damaged my psyche or physical well-being. Nothing and no one is worth any of that shit.

I received some nice emails about the quote that was in my last post: “Don’t eat your soul to fill your belly.” It’s not the only sign I have hanging in my office. A few of the other ones are:

“If you hate your job, hold down your expenses, save up for a while and INVEST IN YOUR JOY. Do it well, get paid and GET FIRED. It’s not rocket science.”

“I’d rather have a LIFE than a LIVING”

“Blasphemy means ignoring your dreams”

They just serve as a constant reminder. It’s easy to lose track of things when your life is moving at the speed of light or you’re in a rut. Slow down, chill out, get out and make time for yourself. Put up some signs or whatever you need to do.

I just had to post a quick review of the show, which was simply amazing. When you have the chance to see a show at the Ford Amphitheater, go.

Aimee Mann was amazing and damn funny to boot. Her new album Lost In Space is going to be a winner. The woman has more songwriting talent in her pinky than many I can think of at this late hour. I’ll think of something witty when I update the review.

Chris Martin (Coldplay) had lost his voice somewhere between last night’s show and tonight. He was poolside at his posh, rockstar, swank hotel (these are a paraphrase of his words, not mine) when he saw a sexy black man. That man happened to be called to the mic, and it was none other than Mos Def, who took over the main vocals for three covers: “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers, “Twist of Faith” by Bob Dylan and “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley. I cannot explain to you how amazing it came off. “Lovely Day” was one of those moments that I will never forget seeing. Will Champion (Coldplay drummer) joined them for “Three Little Birds,” as did the crowd. It was music magic at one of its finest moments. Made me feel much better about missing the Coldplay show at the El Rey too.

Beth Orton was wonderful, though poor gal had her set cut a bit short. I was pretty tired, so I didn’t mind much. She played some incredible songs from the new album, Daybreaker, as well as some older favorites.

Hurrah! Coldplay has developed into a powerful live band! It’s amazing what a difference 2 years can make. No longer present is the awkward, shuffling Chris Martin of old. No more straining to hit the high notes. No more losing his pitch.

Last night’s show at the El Rey Theatre was fantastic! This was the best Coldplay show I’ve seen.

To a sold out crowd, the band took the stage with confidence. Those fans who had stood in line since 5pm, or earlier, were well rewarded for their dedication, as were we all.

The show kicked off with a rollicking “Politik”. Once I heard how powerfully the band was playing, and saw how Chris was throwing his entire body into playing the piano, I knew that this was going to be a show to remember. Chris shook his body from side to side, fingers pounding the keys, sweat pouring off his face.

Once they finished playing “Politik”, the band paused only long enough for Chris to stand up and strap on his guitar. They then launched into “Shiver”. Whew! I had shivers running up and down my body listening to how beautifully this was played and sung. And, to my surprise, the audience was so moved as to start singing along. Chris looked happily surprised as well, and turned the mike towards the crowd so that we could sing one of the choruses by ourselves. One girl’s voice stood out enough that Chris told her that she should be on American Idol.

Throughout the show, Chris chatted with the audience, told jokes, and was very self-effacing. Overall, he seemed so much more comfortable and confident on stage. I could now see why Coldplay received such glowing reviews for their headlining set at Glastonbury this year.

Particular highlights of the main set included “Shiver”, “Trouble”, “Everything’s Not Lost”, “God Put A Smile on Your Face”, and “See You Soon”. The latter song is an old song written by Chris and Johnny and was performed by just the two of them with acoustic guitars. Lovely!

The new songs were so full-bodied and powerful. They also allowed Chris to really cut loose while performing them. He jumped around. He would stand at the lip of the stage and lean towards the crowd. He would extend the mike out towards the audience so we could sing along. And, yes, people knew the lyrics to the new songs already.

Everyone would be in such a sweat by the end of each number that Chris would throw water bottles out to the audience. In fact, during the encores, he sprayed everyone up front with water from his water bottle. By that time, the entire club felt like a sauna and the water was very welcome.

And, when the band finally played their hit single, “Yellow”, I held my breath. Would Chris succeed in hitting the high notes? Would he stay in pitch?

The answer was a resounding yes! This was the first time I’ve heard him nail this song live.

70 minutes after taking the stage, the band concluded their main set with the “Scientist”.

When the band returned to the stage for their encores, they chose to play new songs. “Clocks” was played first and sounded great. “In My Place” made its appearance next. I love this song! And, live, it was even better. After the song ended, Chris said, “I want to introduce the band now, because I heard that there’s a famous actor feller in the crowd. (pointing to each band member) Will, Guy, Chris, and that’s Johnny!”. Chris then laughed at himself and said, “I know. Cheesy”.

Prior to introducing “Life is for Living”, Chris said, “This is the last song of the last show of the tour. We aren’t doing anything tomorrow, so if you want us to play some more, let us know after this song. We’ll leave the stage for a little while and then come back and play more, if you want”. Of course, the crowd went crazy.

True to his word, the band returned to the stage after a short break.

And…. launched right into “Lips Like Sugar”. Yep, the great Echo and The Bunnymen song!

All of the Bunnymen fans went completely mental, and there was massive pogoing, arm waving, and singing!

After that, Chris sat down at the piano again, and said that he would slow things down a bit. He also said it would be the last song, and thanked everyone for coming out to hear them play and for remembering them. They then played “Amsterdam”, a lovely, brooding song off of “A Rush of Blood to the Head”.

All too quickly, the band was waving their final goodbyes.

The time only seemed to pass quickly because the show was so massively good.

In reality, the band played for 1 hour and 40 minutes.

Yes, that’s right. One hour and 40 minutes.

Say goodbye to the 40 minute set.

Celebrity sightings: Elijiah Wood and Julia Roberts (who looked like she was having a really good time)

I suspect members of REM were in the house as well, since Chris dedicated “One I Love” “to the people who originally named this song. I hear they’re in the club tonight”. I craned my neck around, trying to spot Michael Stipe, but to no avail.

There was no opening band. A 30 minute DVD by 1 Giant Leap was shown instead. Fair trade was discussed, but due to poor audio over the PA system, it was hard to hear the dialogue, which was unfortunate. I was very interested to hear what was being discussed. The musical parts of the DVD, which were interspersed between the interviews, were good and included performances by Massive Attack, Robbie Williams, East Indian musicians, Michael Stipe, and Tim Booth (of James).

Whew! I’m so glad I was able to get a ticket to this show (the guy behind me paid $200 to a scalper to get in last night!). And, I’m glad I chose to also see them when they tour with Ash.

I found out this afternoon, that Chris and Johnny were last minute additions to tonight’s Amnesty International Benefit concert with Aimee Mann and Beth Orton. If I wasn’t so tired after last night’s show and a full day of work, I would’ve looked into getting a ticket, but decided sleep sounded waaay too attractive.

1) What good is employment if you can’t enjoy it? I guess the obvious answer is that it pays the bills (hopefully). If it doesn’t pay the bills and you don’t enjoy it, what the hell are you doing? A good friend recently decided to quit his job to try his hand at making a dream come true. I will be in the stands cheering him on. He will do amazing things. This I know. When I decided to quit my job last year, it was out of personal necessity. Two months off turned into, well, the better part of eight months. I’ve never been more poor and happier. Work is finally picking up (for now), which is nice. This guy said something amazing to me when I was healing, just after quitting. He said, “Don’t eat your soul to fill your belly.” I’m not sure who originally said it, but it hangs on my wall as a constant reminder. Hang it on your wall.

2) Assuming you are employed, even if it is part-time/sometimes, do you find that you have to turn work down or say “NO!” to the boss? Yes, as a matter of fact. I find it somewhat ironic that for months I have had no work and now I am having to decide what I can accept and what I have to turn down. It comes in waves and I’m riding this one for everything it’s worth.

3) Where do you get the most work done? I would have said at home until this week. Over the past few days I have had the pleasure to work for a gentleman who lives above Zuma beach in the hills of Malibu, California. It’s a small house and he has a separate guest house/office from which I have been working. It’s been one of those moments that remind me what drew me to Los Angeles in the first place…the ocean. The sound, the smell, the view. Too bad it was just a short gig. It felt nice to get out of the apartment for a while and now I want to live in Malibu.

Diane Tanaka has joined the contributing staff at Jeans And A T-Shirt. She’s currently working on a lovely rant about the high price of CDs, consolidation in the industry, the death of good radio and other such topics. We’re damn glad to have her on board. She also goes to more shows than I do and takes photos when possible. Look for some reviews and photos from her as well. Yay. Group hug.

I’m glad to see artists speaking out about high-priced CD’s. The lower prices for developing artists has been a very effective marketing ploy for me. I picked up the new Vines CD because it was priced at $6.99. I haven’t paid that price for an album since all albums were available on vinyl! The White Stripes album I picked up for $9.99. Same for Pete Yorn, Ed Harcourt, Elbow, etc.

And, thanks to the artists interviewed for pointing out that the people who profit the most from high CD prices are the record companies themselves. Touring and merchandise sales are definitely the way most artists (especially any artist that is not a “blockbuster” act) make their living.

I just love the fact that now the National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM) are thinking about bringing back the single! Yes, the same industry that decided that they would completely delete vinyl singles, and drastically reduce the number of domestic CD singles released. They argued that releasing the “hit” song on a single, would prevent people from buying the entire album. Well, if it’s a crap band with one good song, that’s true. If it’s a good band, then it’s a great way for the listener to try out new artists (at a low price), especially since corporate radio stations predominantly play singles by top-selling artists, and seldom add newer, lesser known artists to their high rotation playlists.

Face it, record companies, you’re fighting an uphill battle, and you’re losing.

First, you decide to delete vinyl and introduce CD’s. At the time, you argued that the sound of the recordings was better, and, while initial CD prices would be much higher than vinyl, eventually, CD’s would cost less. That never happened. Meanwhile, digitizing music has allowed it to be played on many more mediums.

Then, you decided to delete singles, which allowed the casual fan to buy the songs they loved. The fan that would fall in love with a particular band, might be introduced to the band via that single, and go on to buy all of the albums. Instead, the casual fan, downloads those songs for free off the Internet!

Then, you decide to consolidate the record companies into 4 or 5 big mega corporations run by bean counters who look to the “bottom line.” So much for nurturing a truly talented artist’s career.

Radio undergoes consolidation around the same time and only a few corporations own all of the radio stations. Clear Channel currently owns 1200 stations and counting. So much for the free wheeling days of FM radio, which started as an alternative to the set playlists of the top 40 on AM stations. Days in which DJ’s played music that they cared passionately about are nearly gone. Now, it’s play the flavor of the month.

Meanwhile, music fans start gathering on the Internet to share songs and stories.

Eventually, the record companies get wind of what’s going on the Internet. They start a hue and cry about people obtaining music for free. Yet, they refuse to look at their role in limiting the fan’s choice of available music, whether by exposure or by pricing. Don’t even get me started on the lack of domestic distribution of many overseas artists.

The record companies’ solution? Create CD’s that can’t be duplicated, and oftentimes, unplayable outside of the user’s home stereo.

Yay! In the record companies’ infinite wisdom, we’ve come full circle. They are recording music onto a format that can only be played at home. It is no longer portable, except if you record onto analog tape, perhaps. That’s the exact situation we had when music was only recorded on vinyl! Now we’ll be charged more for it, with tiny lyric booklets (if even included) and tiny artwork. Less for more!

I thought it would be cool to interview people that run some of sites we feature on the site. Our first interview is with Laura from coaxme.org.

Jeans: Tell me about why you started coaxme.org

Laura: My friends got sick of me rambling about music type things and I needed somewhere to babble and rant. It’s also a place to post my pathetic concert pictures which I enjoy taking but don’t come out all that well.

Jeans: What bands are getting the most play on your stereo right now?

Laura: Honestly? Billy Idol, The White Stripes, Brendan Benson and Ben Kweller. Ben’s album Sha Sha Sha is always in my car.

Jeans: We like honesty. Which Billy Idol album?

Laura: Storytellers mostly. I just saw him live, which was basically the same set.

Jeans: Speaking of music television, do you watch it much?

Laura: Not lately. I used to, but I haven’t in months. Too many commercials, not enough music. MTV2 has turned into MTV so whats the point? I tend to try and check out new videos by my favorite bands, but thats about it.

Jeans: Do you download the videos?

Laura: I do sometimes. I dowloaded “Dead Leaves” and “Wasted and Ready,” but don’t do it all that often.

Jeans: Do you download a lot of music or would you say you buy more?

Laura: I buy more. If anything, I download a song or two just to see if I like an artist or if the CD isn’t available. My dad used to do some copyright law and stuff so we’ve always been big into paying the artist what they deserve. When napster first came out I got in trouble for having it on my computer. He doesn’t care about music downloading anymore though.I’m more likely to buy a record at a show from some small artists than at a big record store, or download a big artist and buy the small artists’ record. I usually end up buying everything I like. I’m a mess of contradictions aren’t I?

Jeans: No. Actually, it’s all kind of refreshing to hear. I think more teenagers buy music than the RIAA would like the public to think.

Laura: Agreed.

Jeans: Do you see a lot of good shows in Detroit?

Laura: I try to. My friends suck and I don’t have many people to go with. I go alone more often now though. Good bands definitely play here.

Jeans: What was the best show you’ve see this year?

Laura: Hmm, thats hard…Ben Kweller put on an amazing show in June, but The White Stripes/Strokes show was great too. Probably any of the 4 White Stripes shows I’ve seen this year.

Jeans: Any good shows coming up that the people of Detroit should not miss?

Laura: Dirtbombs, Von Bondies, and The Detroit Cobras will all be playing between now and November. Clinic and Apples In Stereo are coming soon, as are Liars with Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Jeans: Being a Detroit rocker grrl, what are your feelings on Kid Rock?

Laura: I’m not a huge fan of Kid Rock. He’s pretty trashy, but I hear he puts on a great live show. Definitely trashy, and his whole poor kid thing is crazy. His dad owns a car dealership.

Jeans: Ha! You’ve outed him, blown his cover. What about Mr. Mathers?

Laura: I think his family is messed up. I’m not a huge fan of his music, though I think he actually had a crummy childhood. I dislike the constant insults It’s kind of annoying, but doesn’t hurt my feelings or anything. Honestly though, he sort of amuses me. I can’t help it.

Jeans: I like his albums quite a bit. I think he’s got talent. Clearly though, The White Stripes are your true Detroit love though.

Laura: Well what can I say, I’m a fan. The whole image of the Detroit scene is a funny one though. A lot of the British press paint Detroit into this great romantic city, which it isn’t at all. It makes me laugh.

Jeans: I just think of cars

Laura: We don’t even build many of those anymore, although I don’t really know the numbers.

Jeans: Perhpas you can get back to us with those numbers. Anyway, thanks for your time Laura. Your site rocks.

Laura: Thanks. I need to sleep.

Understand that we have been forced to take a good idea, and make it better. In an effort to better serve the infosuperweb community, stimulate intelligent conversation and inspire whiney criticism, Chris and I will be starting The Thursday Three. Until further notice, The Thursday Three will reside here.

We encourage you to answer these questions on your own site or post your answers in the comments section of this (and subsequent) Thursday Three posts. With that, here are our first set of questions:

1) How excited are you for The Friday Five? Will you be in front of your computer hitting the refresh button so you can be the first one to post? Admittedly, I was kind of excited about participating in The Friday Five until I realized that the questions were, by and large, totally stupid and lacked in the fun department. I will not participate again, except to promote The Thursday Three.

2) Do you cry when you realize all of that time was spent in vain? Do you consider suicide? Suicide is out of the question. I love life and I love you, thus The Thursday Three.

3) Don’t you agree that The Friday Five is the lamest community-building bullshit of a web site you have ever stumbled across? Well, it’s a fine effort, but there is room for improvement. That’s where we come in. I don’t think the use of profanity or insulting another web site’s valiant efforts is called for. If it weren’t for The Friday Five, there would be no Thursday Three.

If you haven’t read it somewhere else, then let me be the first to inform you of the re-launch of The Trouser Press web site. What’s that you say? You have no idea what Trouser Press is? Shame on you. Go read. Be warned though, your day will suddenly become completely unproductive.