Brad Barrish

I dunno how much longer I can keep doing The Friday Five. They need some better questions. Cars?? Who cares?! My answers are especially snooty and short because the questions are L A M E. One more set of questions like this, and I quit.

1) Do you have a car? If so, what kind of car is it? Yes. One must own a car in LA. It’s a new German kind of car.

2) Do you drive very often? ‘Often’ is kind of relative, don’t you think? I drive when I need to.

3) What’s your dream car? I don’t dream about cars. That’s disgusting.

4) Have you ever received a ticket? What are you? My insurance company?

5) Have you ever been in an accident? Yes, a few.

I suggest that you keep these numbers handy. Perhaps you should memorize them. By all means call them to find out what they are.

212.479.7990 for NYC

323.883-1779 for LA

Toll charges may apply. Please check with your local operator as I cannot be held responsible for your stupidity. I won’t. I refuse.

[Thank you Boing Boing]

Most of the day Brutus is confined to the kitchen. He’s a 90 pound doberman that my parents rescued from the pound. He doesn’t look like a scary one with cropped ears. His ears are floppy and it makes him look a little less intimidating. Make no mistake, he’s a killer and is not to be fucked with. He likes to lay in his cage and suck on a blanket, but it’s all a big front.

When Brutus is allowed out of the kitchen he must be watched closely. As you nod off on the sofa he’ll sneak away to the basement. Brutus likes to eat cat shit right out of the litter box. He knows what he is doing isn’t right, but it’s like crack and he can’t resist.

When Brutus does something he’s not supposed to do, he gets very anxious. So anxious in fact, that he drops a load on the spot, which is found minutes after someone catches him sneaking back up the basement stairs.

Anxiety runs in the family and they say that dogs take on their owner’s personalities. I guess that would explain my father shitting his pants when my mother catches him eating junk food in the middle of the night.

I’ve added a desktop pictures section (to your left) to help dress up that boring desktop of yours. All photos were taken by me. My personal favorite is Mutilation Wave. All desktop pictures are available in 1024 x 768 or 1152 x 870. I figure people don’t use 640 x 480 desktops much anymore. If you do, it’s time to get a new monitor or some glasses. I don’t have a problem with you posting these desktop pictures on other sites as long as you link back here. I’ll be adding some new ones every so often. Enjoy.

I thought the questions for this week’s Friday Five totally sucked, and thus I am not going to participate. I know, it feels a little childish, but you know what? My dad could probably beat the shit outta your dad.

July’s edition of the monthly mix has been completed and is ready for your listening pleasure. Aside from listening to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album quite a bit, which I think may be the best album that they have released in years, the debut album from Candidate is gorgeous. I’m not sure when it comes out domestically, but it’s well worth the import cost. The new Shivaree album is also a recent favorite. Hell, just download the music and buy the albums. You’ll thank me later.

I went blind twice today. I was in front of my computer when it started to go the first time. It always starts off with a blind spot. Just a tiny area of my vision that gets distorted by the flashing rainbow lights. It looks like glitter. To anyone that doesn’t know what this is like, it’s very similar to being partially blinded by a reflection of the sun. A sun spot, some people call it. Sometimes I mistake those for the beginning of my blindness, but the test is to shut my eyes for a moment and if the light is dancing, then the process has commenced.

There’s a ritual that I must follow very carefully to avoid bumping into things and getting sick:

1. Eat something. Anything. This serves to protect my stomach for what I am about to ingest.

2. Ingest two Excedrin Migraine tablets. Each tablet contains 250mg Acetaminophen (Tylenol), 250mg Aspirin and 65mg caffeine. Caffeine is the key and also the curse because it doesn’t help with the next step at all.

3. Fall asleep. Falling asleep usually isn’t a problem, but this time was a little different. I had to take the dog on a quick walk before my hibernation, while the blindness was setting in, so she wouldn’t wake me up to go out. This raised my heart rate. Couple that with the fact that caffeine also raises my heart rate and you’ll understand why it was a little difficult to go to sleep.

I was in and out of sleep over the next two hours. At one point, after my vision was nearly completely impaired by the wall of glittery lights, which I also experience with my eyes closed, it just went away. I was suddenly staring at blackness again. This is usually the time when the migraine sets in, but it didn’t. I opened my eyes, just to make sure. I could see and my head wasn’t pounding. Weird.

Okay, I thought, I’ll give it a few minutes and then it’s sure to set in. I closed my eyes again, disparately trying to relax and fall asleep to avoid the inevitable pain I was about to experience. A few minutes pass and I started feeling a little pain in the back of my head, but it certainly was no headache. I opened my eyes again. My vision was blurry from my eyes being shut and then I noticed something. Glittery lights, again! I immediately started to panic. In all of the years that I have had migraines, I have never gone blind twice. There’s always been a pattern. It was like clockwork. My heart rate jumped as the possibilities ran through my head:

1. I hope a neighbor is home to take me to the hospital, because I may need to go soon.

2. What if my head explodes?

3. What if this is actually an aneurism?

4. I would rather have a migraine.

I focus on relaxation. I closed my eyes and stared as the dancing lights took over the blackness. I slipped into a light sleep. It was probably around 7:30pm.

I woke up to darkness. The sun had set and the clock said 10:04pm. My head hurt. It was the migraine hangover that I’m accustomed to. Laughing hurts, sneezing is worse and coughing could be the death of me. Bending over, causing blood to rush to my head, is excruciating. Avoiding all of the above is a must for the next 24 hours. My stomach was empty and I felt like I’d been on speed. I kept clenching my jaw. The caffeine. I slowly got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. It was time for dinner.

1) How long have you had a weblog? I’ve had one, in some form or another, since 1997. That was the year that I discovered iVisit and wanted to work for them. I started keeping an online journal that probably got more traffic than the official site. It was the job that brought me to L.A. where I started keeping more personal stuff online via my free EarthLink space. That never got much traffic. Almost a year ago today, I registered bradbarrish.com, which started out as a place for my music reviews, photography and a rant or two every once in a while. In late May of this year, I launched jeansandatshirt.com, which picks up where bradbarrish.com left off and is now a collaborative effort with other contributors to the site.

2) What was your first post about? I don’t remember my very first post and don’t have a record of it anywhere.

3) How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one? The names that I can remember are Ego, Addict, Inertia and Idiom. All of those were pretty short-lived. I find that I am never satisfied with much of anything and my sites are in a constant state of change. Refer to question 1 for the rest.

4) What CMS (content management system) do you use? Movable Type is my CMS of choice. I started out using Blogger, but Movable Type had way more whistles and bells and the GUI was a lot more easy on the eyes. Besides, Ben and Mena Trott are awesome people and despite their large installed user base, are always willing to answer emails and help out. The community surrounding Movable Type is also a really great group of people.

5) Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place? I read both, but prefer it all in one certain location. Why go to two different sections, when it could be all in on place. Duh.

Ever wonder what it’s like when AC/DC gets together to talk about the next album?

Angus: Okay, moving along. Brian, you’re shared only one idea.

Brian: Well, I wanted to give the other guys a chance, to cultivate diversity of opinion.

Angus: Certainly, but we’re on a schedule.

Brian: All right. “Depth Charge,” “Rocket Launcher,” “Smell of Love,” and “Eat My Fist.”

Cliff: I’d say we have an album, gentlemen. I move that we accept this slate of titles for our next album.

Brian: I second the motion.

Malcolm: All in favor?

All: Aye.

[NOTE: Exerpted without any permission whatsoever. If the link doesn’t work, try the McSweeney’s Archives.]

You’ll notice that I’ve made a few layout changes to the site. I’m making some room for some new sections, including a photo gallery and a decor section with wallpaper that you can use on your desktop. The new sections will appear soon. Feel free to leave comments about the new look.

Thank you to Kristine at Blogstyles.com for her assistance with the new three-column layout of the site.